The exercise of recapitulating ones life is extremely powerful and enlightening – especially if you make the choice to detach from your story and personal point of view by pretending that your life is a monumental movie production. As I look over my life (my Scorsese special), I can see innumerable moments when I chose to see a situation through the filter of my belief system, compelling me to take actions that were often hurtful and limiting. I’d like to share a couple of personal examples so that you can get clarity about what I am referring to.
I remember a time in high school when my best friend became involved with her very first boyfriend. I was so angry with her for what I felt was a betrayal of our friendship. I believed that best friends should call each other every day and that she should put me as a priority over him. As a result, I made the choice to exile this amazing woman from my life. In no way had she betrayed me – that was simply my belief system regarding friendship at the time – absolute truth to me – but to no one else. By taking this action I “edited” her out of my life creating a picture that was more limited and painful. If I had followed my heart, I would have not taken that action since I loved her dearly.
Years later when I finished medical school and entered into my first serious relationship, I believed it was time to settle down and create a family. I met a man that fit all the criteria I had for the type of person I should marry just as I fit his criteria. However, neither one of us was following our heart of hearts, we were simply “editing” our lives to fit into a belief system we had regarding family and relationship. Needless to say that relationship ended not too soon after it started, and not without a lot of pain and suffering.
Your life does not need to look like a Scorsese drama. You do not have to continually edit your experience of your life according to your belief system with all its judgments, opinions and personal points of view. You can learn to detach from your own ego mind, and gain precious clarity about your choices. By looking at situations objectively in your life and stepping back, you can see the big picture rather than zooming in on the minute and detracting details.
Take some time to reflect deeply on your movie and recapitulate the details of your story. See what areas were edited and make note of why you did so. With awareness you can use that powerful knowledge to not do the same things again and to forgive yourself for all the times you did not follow your heart. I suggest you get comfortable, in a meditative position and close your eyes. Then start scanning through your movie allowing your attention to focus in on different times in your movie, especially the painful ones. Ask yourself what belief you used to edit your life in that moment, and make the choice to detach from that belief. I promise you that if you keep doing this exercise; your life will change from one of limitation and fear, to one of joy and expansiveness. And best of all you will have forgiveness for yourself and others.
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Sheri Rosenthal DPM and Susyn Reeve M.Ed. are co-authors of WITH Forgiveness - Are You Ready? and co-creators of the WITH Forgiveness program at www.withforgivenessmovie.com. They both enjoy giving workshops, lectures and taking folks on spiritual journeys (you can see them at www.journeysofthespirit.com ), and being extremely happy! You can reach them at www.withforgiveness.com.
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